19/20

It’s too fast

I’ve waited for this moment

Am I a little scared? Or am I excited?

To be honest, it hurts to send you away.

Everyday went by slowly, I prayed for time to pass by quickly

But right now, I feel the opposite

I’d like this moment to stop for a bit

Time, don’t stay here, go somewhere else.

Once again back to 13

I still can’t believe it, but I’m alright

I’m satisfied that my life came with a lot of luck

But this moment that I’ve wated for

Even before I started to live happily

Is here and

I want to stop time

I’m still not ready

I’m paralysed

But the 20-year-old me is waiting.

Why does this day feel like its passing by so quickly

When I count to three

Can everything disappear like a dream?

And I go back to where I was before.

Go back to those days

Where every day was the same

If “right now” passes, then it’ll seem too far

It’ll feel like I won’t be able to see the current me again.

Now, the way I talk has become more mature

It’s a bit unfamiliar, but I walk around like I’m confident

But I still feel like a middle school student

Who’s acting like an adult

This eerie feeling makes adrenaline rush in me.

The hours after 10 pm gain pace

The signs that don’t allow teens, don’t relate to me anymore

But my Dad and Mum still look at me like a kid

And strangely, this is something I’m still used to.

Soon I’ll have to take off my teenager tag

This should be good enough

Continue on naturally, don’t be uncomfortable

Every body was like this too.

The 20-year-old that I wanted to become so badly

Did everyone go through the same experience,

Or am I the only one?

This place that felt so awkward

Is now my home

This space that felt so big

Now seems small to me

The things that I’ve been dreaming of have taken off

And when I look out the window, they are ready to land.

Now that I’m at the brink of being 20,

I’m hesitant of what lies ahead

But Chronos is cruel, it can’t be helped

Now I let you go.

-Ashley Kumar

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